Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2009 21:48:02 GMT -5
(may you note that this is a very rough over review of the whole story, in which the explanations are explained in better depth with better wording. thanks)
The Fire Keeper
Some time ago in an unknown place there live a being. This being was so great and powerful it was beyond mortal comprehension. But it was also wicked, self absorbed and only cared for its self. One day this being decided to make something of great worth and complexity as a symbol of his greatness. So he took up bare elements and turned them into land, sea and life. This great being looked down upon his new land in satisfaction. But as time passed his creation began to wither and wilt, for it had no great energy to sustain the life in this land. The Great Creator watched as all he made died, before him. Angered that anything of his invention could be flawed he created something new. A great flame, that brought light and energy to his land. And the Creator saw that it was truly great. But yet another flaw emerged in his work. The great flame needed to be feed and fanned in in order to live on. At first the Creator took up man, the greatest of the land of the living. And sentenced it to slave upon the flame. But it was to weak in power and was soon devoured by the flame.
Unless all that was made was to be destroyed, the Great Creator must invent a new life to serves the flame. The Fire Keeper, made in the image of a beautiful human maiden with great wings to fly. He also gave his creation the ability to think and feel as a human, So it could live independently. Out of the flame its self, she arose. The Keeper and flame were two parts of one. Bonded without the Creators knowledge. The Fire Keeper restored all balance, to the flame, to the land of the living. After all seemed to be handled , the Great Creator turned his back on the land of the living and fawned over what he saw as his greatest creation. The flame. For a great while the Fire Keeper did her labor without thought. But after time she cast her gaze upon the land of the living.
The land of the living was foul and rained over by great kings of men. All men were made in the Creator’s image, wicked and thinking themselves as lord among others. Their world was filled of suffering and greed for the only way to survive was on the unwilling backs if other living things. The earth was greatly misused, never being replenished, but always reaped of its goods. Until finally the land its self screamed out in pain.
Hearing its call the Fire Keeper went down to the land of the living. Once she saw all the suffering and bad that lived in the land she set off to help. She looked at the labor of man and saw that the flame was not enough to sustain them. Because the flame was cut off from the land. And so she went back to the flame, and took a bit down back to the land . And soon life there became easier to live there, but was still stained with the evils that lay in mans heart. The Fire Keeper saw this and preached to the humans to change there ways or parish in the end. Most of mankind were taken by the beauty and grace of the Fire Keeper and followed her proclamations. But one of the great lords of man saw that the keeper was endangering his power. And so he ordered her to be shot with a bow and arrow.
With a cry, the Fire Keeper fell. And for a second all became silent as her scream rang through existence. The Great Creator took notice of the sound and looked upon the land of the living. Then he saw that his most precious creation, was stolen and given to such inferior beings as man. Infuriated with his Keeper he let her die by the hands of man. But unknown to the creator the great flame its self depended mostly on the life of its Keeper. With the death of the Fire Keeper the flame soon went out. And the great Creator lost all that he valued.
(picture is not mine in any form)
give me your feel of my story please?
thanks!!
The Fire Keeper
Some time ago in an unknown place there live a being. This being was so great and powerful it was beyond mortal comprehension. But it was also wicked, self absorbed and only cared for its self. One day this being decided to make something of great worth and complexity as a symbol of his greatness. So he took up bare elements and turned them into land, sea and life. This great being looked down upon his new land in satisfaction. But as time passed his creation began to wither and wilt, for it had no great energy to sustain the life in this land. The Great Creator watched as all he made died, before him. Angered that anything of his invention could be flawed he created something new. A great flame, that brought light and energy to his land. And the Creator saw that it was truly great. But yet another flaw emerged in his work. The great flame needed to be feed and fanned in in order to live on. At first the Creator took up man, the greatest of the land of the living. And sentenced it to slave upon the flame. But it was to weak in power and was soon devoured by the flame.
Unless all that was made was to be destroyed, the Great Creator must invent a new life to serves the flame. The Fire Keeper, made in the image of a beautiful human maiden with great wings to fly. He also gave his creation the ability to think and feel as a human, So it could live independently. Out of the flame its self, she arose. The Keeper and flame were two parts of one. Bonded without the Creators knowledge. The Fire Keeper restored all balance, to the flame, to the land of the living. After all seemed to be handled , the Great Creator turned his back on the land of the living and fawned over what he saw as his greatest creation. The flame. For a great while the Fire Keeper did her labor without thought. But after time she cast her gaze upon the land of the living.
The land of the living was foul and rained over by great kings of men. All men were made in the Creator’s image, wicked and thinking themselves as lord among others. Their world was filled of suffering and greed for the only way to survive was on the unwilling backs if other living things. The earth was greatly misused, never being replenished, but always reaped of its goods. Until finally the land its self screamed out in pain.
Hearing its call the Fire Keeper went down to the land of the living. Once she saw all the suffering and bad that lived in the land she set off to help. She looked at the labor of man and saw that the flame was not enough to sustain them. Because the flame was cut off from the land. And so she went back to the flame, and took a bit down back to the land . And soon life there became easier to live there, but was still stained with the evils that lay in mans heart. The Fire Keeper saw this and preached to the humans to change there ways or parish in the end. Most of mankind were taken by the beauty and grace of the Fire Keeper and followed her proclamations. But one of the great lords of man saw that the keeper was endangering his power. And so he ordered her to be shot with a bow and arrow.
With a cry, the Fire Keeper fell. And for a second all became silent as her scream rang through existence. The Great Creator took notice of the sound and looked upon the land of the living. Then he saw that his most precious creation, was stolen and given to such inferior beings as man. Infuriated with his Keeper he let her die by the hands of man. But unknown to the creator the great flame its self depended mostly on the life of its Keeper. With the death of the Fire Keeper the flame soon went out. And the great Creator lost all that he valued.
(picture is not mine in any form)
give me your feel of my story please?
thanks!!
