Lost in my Emotions (Fatekit)

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Falconpaw shrieked. The huge bird was gaining, its flaming wings swooping down faster and faster. Falconpaw tumbled through the underbrush and bracken, her breath coming in short shallow gasps. She struggled to go faster, but her legs slowed, and the bird got faster. She felt herself tumble through the foliage. The giant bird gave a ear-piercing cry. Swooping it dove at her, speeding closer and closer. She could feel the heat , and could do nothing as its flaming wings engulfed her. The light was unbearable, for what seemed like hours everything was a white void. The birds shrill cry mixed into her own, until all that could be heard was her own yowl. Then the white disappered, sucked into nothingness, like a whirlpool. There lay Falconpaw, her pelt shining, and flaming wings pertruding from her back. "With the light of the fire who saved the clan, the huntress with wings shall save the land". The voice echoed in her head. but a shadow glinted in her mind. It wasn't over. "Whats the Full phrophecy?" she yelled. Silence for a moment, then, "With the light of the fire who saved the clans, the huntress with wings shall save the land. With war or peace you soon shall bring, with Fate intertwined, little hunter with wings." Silence rang in her ears, and she knew whoever was talking was done. "What does it mean?" she wailed. No answer, but then, she didn't expect one. Suddenly a wave of exshaustion riddled her brain. She stumbled sleepily for a few seconds, then collapsed, asleep.


Falconpaw jerked awake her eyes wide. looking around she realized she was back in the apprentice den. And two rays of moonlight lit up the spots where the flaming wings had been in her dream. Wierd. she thought. Shaking her head she sat up and did a quick groom. peeking out she saw that the moon was still high in the sky, she padded out of camp through the dirt tunnel. She had to get out of here for awhile. Letting her paws lead her, she found herself at a ledge overlooking the glittering lake. Silverpelt shone down and reflected off the waveless water. Sighing she settled down and looked to the moon. Its silvery rays paled her long orange pelt, and dappled her forest green eyes with silver. Stepping closer to the ledge, she peeked at her reflection. She gasped. the cat looking back was beautiful! Her eyes, illuminated by silver shone, and her long red pelt wrapped around her beautifuly. "Is this me?" she thought, amazed. She had never imagined herself to be pretty. She wanted to become a powerful warrior and then deputy, and hopefully leader someday. A groaning sound reeled her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she felt the ground beneath her drop. Yowling, she clawwed at the loose soil, but it only fell on her. She fell, and hit the chilly water. Instantly soaked, she felt herself being dragged down by her heavy pelt. A strong current whisked her away from the shore. Yowling for help she struggled to keep her head above water. Coughing up water, she managed to live. She touched ground and Pulled herself out thankfully. She shivered with cold and crawled over to the shelter of a bush. Shutting her eyes, she instantly fell asleep.


Sunlight streamed into the bush where Falconpaw was sleeping. Blinking awake, she climbed out of the bush. And came face to face with a whole line of twoleg dens. The dens stretched as far as she could see. Gaping in astonishment, she was taken from her thought by her growling stomach. She finally noticed the horrid state of her pelt. It was knotted and tangled. Sighing, she set to work on cleaning up. By the time she was done, her pelt shone and her stomach groaned. Setting off down a stone path she kept her eye out for prey. A growl came from ahead. "What is that?" she wondered. Creeping forward, she shrieked and dove for a bush when a huge shiny monster tore past. Her eyes wide with fur and her fur puffed, she crept out slowly. Watching for more monsters. She jogged down the path and wrinkled her nose at the putrid stench that meet her nose. By the time sunhigh came around, she was tired, hungery and scared. She came to a bright tin can. A tempting smell came from it. Raising up on her hind legs she knocked it over. Mush spilled out, but so did a strange bird-thing. "Hey! That looks like those walking birds at the twoleg farm! except, this one is missing its pelt and HEAD!!" (ooc: its a chicken LOL) she gasped. It looked edible... But was it??

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Lol, 794 words, and 4434 characters!!!! Whoo! thats my RECORD!!!

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FatePaw was stalking around the Twoleg place, Looking for something edible. He rummaged through trash as he often did, But found nothing "Ahh! Im sick of this stinking food! I need some real food!" With that he started walking down the road. He smelt something strange to him, He had never smelled any cat except BloodClan. This scent was enchanting, It lured him, Called his name. FatePaw rushed to the scent, Then he slowed down. He saw a beautiful, striking, lovely cat playing with a can. FatePaw chuckled to himself. "Hahaha, Must be a new Cat to these parts or something. What an idiot to play with food." He thought to himself. He stalked up behind the She-Cat. He touched her on her shoulder, "Ummm, Excuse me. Are you new here or what? Where are you from?" He spoke very nicely, but firmly. He admired the cat, She was beautiful. He felt something odd in his stomach, He muttered to himself "Get it together!"

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Falconpaw spun around. A black cat with odd eyes was staring at her. She blinked in surprised. "Im Falconpaw, an apprentice in Thunderclan, and im not staying in this dung-ridden place!" she snarled. "and im not lost, im just.... uh.... exploring." In the back of her mind she had a nagging feeling. This cat was the most handsomest cat she had ever seen. She laid her forest green eyes on him and narrowed her eyes. "Well? Who are you?" she spat. She felt her heart dropped when she looked into his eyes. 'What is HE doing here?' she thought. "Whats your name?" she asked, struggling to be nicer. She was unsucsessful.

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Fatepaw was gazing into her eyes. He became compleyely oblivious of everything else around him. He struggled with words "We..We..Well m..my name's..Fa...Fa...Fate..Pa..Paw. You're an ap...app..apprentice in clan!?! Clan cats are stupid and vile....." Fatepaw stopped, He was head over heels for this cat, and he doesn't even know her name. "Im s..sorry. Im just so nervous, I've never seen a cat as beautiful as you." Fatepaw began to blush, "Wha..Whats your name?" Fatepaw was eager for an answer. All of a sudden, his stomach growled so loud, He blushed in embarrasment. He knew he should have eaten. "Oh, Great, I ruin everything" He thought to himself.

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Falconpaw laughed at his stuttering. "Im Falconpaw. And Clan cats are not vile. Where have you been, in a rock?" she burst out laughing again when his stomach growled. But then her stomach growled. She was taken aback when he told her she was beautiful. "well.... I ... Uh, Thanks Fatepaw." she stammered. "I like you." she decided. "Your funny and seem ok." she chuckled. "and your kinda cute!" she jumped up and started walking down the street. "So, are you gonna show me where we can get some food, or are we gonna starve?"

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Fatepaw's face turned red when she laughed at his studdering. "I like you to, You're really pretty and...Nice." Fatepaw rolled over laughing when her stomach growled to. "Sure! I know the best places to hunt! Follow Me!" Fatepaw meowed, But he knew he was lying just to impress her. He actually hasn't eatin solid food in two days. Fatepaw started walking down the street with her. He had butterflies in his tummy. "If only I could eat these butterflies!" He muttered to himself.

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Falconpaw ran to catch up to Fatepaw. "What are you doing here anyway?" she asked him. She hadnt expected someone so cute to live here. "You know, your really cute, Fatepaw." she wasnt afraid to voice her opinions. She felt a flutter in her chest whenever he looked at her. "dont put aside your dreams for someone you just met.' she told herself sternly. She sighed, and her belly grumbled. :Hey Fatepaw, I might have to stay with you tonight, where is there some shelter?" She was tired, hungery and scared, but she wouldnt let anyone know that! She continued to follow throuh the maze of endless dens.

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Fatepaw, Couldn't look away from her Falconpaw's eyes, He was lost in them. "Ummm, Yeah, I have a shelter, Just keep going straight and then take a right when you see a tree with some claw marks, Im going to go get us some food. I'll be back soon." With that he ran off, to find some food. While he was running, He couldn't think of anything else except Falconpaw. "I think im in love...." He said to himself.

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Falconpaw blinked as Fatepaw receded. 'What a strange tom!' she thought. Shrugging, she continued straight. A huge tree loomed to the right. Quickly she inspected the claw marks, they werehuge and deep. ^not from a cat!^ she thought. Then the smell hit her nose. It was a smell of blood and crowfood. 'Bloodclan!' she hid behind one of the silver tins, making sure no one saw her. Had Fatepaw set a trap for her? Bloodclan was a sworn enemy of the forest. Hatred boiled inside her. Why would Fatepaw, kind, cute Fatepaw, bring her to this rotting rat hole?! She sheltered under a twoleg item and lie in wait for Fatepaw to come trotting by with freshkill.

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Fatepaw tried to hunt for fresh-kill, But he was distracted by thoughts of Falconpaw. He saw a small mouse scamper across the floor, He crouched down low. He slowly stalked forward and pounced on it and snapped it's neck killing it instantly. He picked it up, He was too off to catch anymore. He trotted back to where he told Falconpaw to go. He saw her hiding under a can. He couldn't help but chuckle, He jogged up to her "Hey, Why didn't you go into my Clan's camp? It's much safer there." Fatepaw had no clue why Falconpaw hadn't gone to his camp. He saw in her eyes, and the fact that her hair was bristling, That she was furious. "What's wrong?" He meowed softly.

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"WHATS WRONG!" she snarled, "You set me up! Thats Bloodclans camp!" she hissed. "'Bloodclan is a sworn enemy to the forest clan!" she turned away. "You set me up!" she was furious, her hair bristling and her yes narrowed. Why had he done this. and she had thought she loved him, she thought he loved her! She whipped around and stalked off. But deep inside, she wished he would follow, to set things right. she loved him, but she wanted to be able to trust him. Oh why was she here?? Was this an accident or ment to be? She was confused, and wished Fatepaw would follow her.

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Fatepaw didn't realize what was wrong. He ran to catch up to her, "Falconpaw, Please stop. I don't know what's wrong. I mean, Im in BloodClan, I don't think we're that bad." Fatepaw was confused, "Falconpaw, I don't know what my Clan has done to you or your ancestors or Clanmates,But im not like that! I swear." Then without thinking he slipped out some words "I love you, Falconpaw!" Fatepaw put his tail over his mouth as soon as he said it. "Great! Now she's never going to talk to me!" He thought to himself. Fatepaw stopped dead in his tracks. He started to run off. "I always screw up everything!" He screamed in his head.

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Falconpaw stopped in her tracks. "You-you love me?" she whispered. "But why?" she was confused, why would someone as sweet as Fatepaw like her? "And Fatepaw, you ansestors, attacked the forest and nearly destroyed the clans." "so there not very well thought of." Then, turning to Fatepaw she pressed her muzzle into his fur. "Your reallly not like the others are you?" sh murmured. She wrappedd her tail aaround his and whispered, "fate intertwined," "I love you also Fatepaw. But what shall we do? I need to go home, but i dont know the way back and i dont want to leave you."

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Fatekit listened to what she had to say about his Clan. He was about to blurt out "Scourge was a great leader!" But when she wrapped her tail around his and pushed her muzzle into his and said "I love you" He froze. His heart started beating so fast he thought it was going to jump out of his chest. Fatepaw started stammering again, "We..Well, Um...umm," Then he cleared his throat and spoke sternly, "Falconpaw, I want you to stay with me forever. I would leave my Clan for you, But sadly I cannot. May I ask you something?" He spoke with tenderness and kindness, "Do you dream of becoming a Warrior, Perhaps even Leader someday? I do, And while I love you, I do not think i can sneak out all the time to see you and do my duties. Im sure you're thinking the same thing." Fatepaw drooped his head tears started slowly streaming from his eyes. "Falconpaw, You are the most beautifulest thing in the world to me, But i want your dreams to come true...Please don't let me stop you. I can walk you back to your border then, You must go. I will try and see you if i can." Fatepaw started crying like a little kit, Then he realized he must be strong in front of her. He dried his tears, "So, What is your choice?"

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"I, i," she stammered. "I wish to become leader someday." she managed to blurt out. "and i realize that i cannot have a mate. But i will be a warrior for a long time, Fernstar still has many seasons to live. So we have plenty of time to see each other." she stopped, What was she thinking! Falling in love with a cat from Bloodclan! And she was suggesting that they meet, and mate! She closed her mouth. Her heart told her to meet him, but the warrior inside said to leave him. She made up her mind. "Fatepaw, I believe we are destined to be together." She proceeded to tell him about her dream and how a voice said that Fate was intertwined. "I would like for you to come and meet me at the thunderclan border in to moonsets." (ooc: two days LOL) She dipped her head. "But its not my decsision, its yours. I will see you whenever, but i cannot if you do not come." she knew she had to be strong, if he said no, she would leave and never come back, and maybe have Pantherpaw as a mate before becoming Deputy. But if he said yes, her life was about to change. Forever.

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Fatepaw looked up at the stars, "Even Falconpaw was more beautiful than the Stars." He thought to himself. He spoke with regret and sorrowness "Falconpaw, My dream is to become Leader of Bloodclan, I never really had an interest in She-Cats till you came along, b...but, I do not think we should see each other." It was becoming to diffecult for him to speak "Understand this is not because of my dreams, It's because of yours. I do not wish to risk ruining your life. If we were caught you would be cast out, I couldn't live with myself if that happend." Fatepaw turned around, and started walking back to Bloodclan camp, But stopped. "Falconpaw, Maybe one day, When and if im Leader and if your a Leader, Then we could meet,But until then...I am sorry." Fatepaw walked back to Falconpaw one more time and gave her a little lick on her nose and whispered "I love you, forever and always." Then with that Fatepaw started back to BloodClan. Already regretting his decision,But it was for the best.

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Falconpaw watched him leave. She felt hollow inside. She shook her head. He had said No, now she must forget him. But she knew she couldnt. Looking around, she realized she had no way of finding her way back, and her body was weak with hunger and fatigue. She refused to call out to Fatepaw. She didnt want to look weak in front of him. And anyway, he obviously wanted nothing to do with her. Turning around she stomped off. Not know that she was walking strait into a rat pit. It got dark, and cold. She crept silently through the shadows, failing to conceal herself, because of her bright orange pelt. "Squeak." She spun around. A rat stood behind her, she was about to walk away when more and more rats appeared from the dark. They surrounded her, and closed in, she felt little teeth sink into him flanks. Fighting she lashed out at the rats, but more and more replaced them. "FATEPAW!" she screamed, her scream was a piercing shriek, filled with pain and fear. A horrible sound.

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Fatepaw was hanging his head in sadness. All of a sudden he heard a terrifying scream. "FATEPAW!" Fatepaw instanly turned around, "Dang it! How could I forget about the rats!" He thought to himself. He ran into the rat pit. There was so many of them, He struggled to fight them. There was one of them on Falconpaws hindleg, he jumped on it and threw it at the wall. No matter how many he killed, They kept coming back. He kept fighting for his love, he was tired of fighting them all. He saw out of the corner of his eye some left over food, He quickly ran for it and showed all the rats to mak sure that got a smell and he tosses it out the pit. The rats all ran after it,"Falconpaw! Quickly can you walk? We have to go!"

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Falconpaw gasped. Fatepaw had come, and saved her. Maybe he did love her after all. S.he struggled up and followed Fatepaw. "Why'd you come?" She demanded. Her stomach growled and her pelt hung limply around her starving frame. Fatigue numbed ever step. She had to rest, but where? Would Fatepaw let her rest somewhere with him? Or would he leave her again? She said nothing as she limped after him, her bites stinging and swelling. 'Great,' she thought. 'This is just what i need.' she sighed. Why was this happening? What was she doing here? She wished she could just go home.

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Fatepaw has speechless as he watched her limp, Her poor starving body. Anyother cat would have winced because she lookd rough, but Fatepaw still thought she was beautiful. "Well, I love you, I couldn't just let you die. You looked tired and hungry. I still have that mouse I caught I was going to eat it myself, But you need it more than I do. Take your time and eat then we'll get to my secret spot where i go to get away from Clan troubles." Fatepaw nudged the mouse over to her feet. He smiled, He really did love her.

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Falconpaw eyed him carefully. She sniffed the mouse and devoured it in a few famished gulps. "Thanks." she said. "Im so tired, can we find somewhere to rest?" Sitting down, she cleaned her wounds and groomed herself. When she finished, her wounds stung, and didnt stop swelling. Her fur still hung around her. She needed a good rest and something to treat her infected bites. "Stupid rats!' she spat angrily. She probably looked like a savage. "well?" she turned to Fatepaw. "Are you gonna bring me to that shelter or what? Or are you gonna leave me to fend by myself again?" she said angrily.

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Fatepaw felt horrible for what he did. He hung his head in shame, "Sure let's go." He meowed sorrily. He looked in her beautiful eyes "Im so sorry, I just wanted what was best for you. I love you, But I love my clan as well." Fatepaw was busy staring at her mangled fur, and bites all over her body. "Well, I don't know what to do about your bites, If they don't get treated soon they'll get infected. Do you think you can make it tonight then leave first thing in the morning." Fatepaw truly cared for Falconpaw. He waited eagerly for her answer.

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Falconpaw blinked. "Sure, of course i can survive my bites for a day," she held her head up. "Im NOT a weakling ya know!" she stared at him angrily. "You dont need to treat me like a baby!" She stopped when she saw the hope in his eyes. "Im, sorry im so cranky, im just tired and not feeling well." she looked up at his handsome face. "Im really sorry, beccause we cant see each other, if we cant now, we never will." she glanced at him. "And i think i Love you. But i have mixed feelings right now." she sighed. "Lets go."

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Fatepaw was sad instantly. He knew he had told her that they shouldn't see each other, But now since he had saved her he had hoped that they could be together. "Okay, Let's go." He meowed with his head down and tears streaming down his face. He tried his best to hide his tears. The trip to his shelter had been silent so far, He didn't want to talk now. He felt sick, Now he hadn't eatin food in 3 days. It was very dark, He felt empty inside. Fatepaw had no reason to live.

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"Fatepaw, What i meant was, since you said we couldn't be together now, we cant ever. Because, when you also said that we could meet as leaders, you know we cant. Its now, before our leaders die, or never. I hope you understand that." she was silent as they continued. Was he crazy when he said maybe they could meet as leaders? How could they? Having a mate was forbidden as a leader, the result, getting kicked out! But there was that time when they would both be warriors, before they could become Deputy, That they could be mates. Did he realize that? If he did, he never mentioned it, he had told her NO. So he either didnt want to seeher, or couldnt. She felt her heart drop. And agsin asked herself this qquestion, "why am i here?"

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Fatepaw kept crying with his head down. "I k...know we can't meet as Leaders, I just wanted an excuse. L...look we can't meet now. I re...really want to, But I want to focus on my Apprentice duties." Fatepaw couldn't hide his tears from her any longer, With that he burst out into tears. "I..Im s...sorry. You shouldn't love a cat that cries." Fatepaw tried rubbing his eyes, but nothing would stop his tears. He loved her so much, He didn't want to lose her, But he had to let her go. All the butterflies that once were in his stomach were all dead now.

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Falconpaw saw the tears. They flowed freely down his beautiful face. She pressed against him, intertwining her tail with is. "I belive i can love anyone i please." she mummered into his ear. Pressing her nose into his black fur, she whispered "Love is nothing anyone has the power to rein in." She let her long red fur warm him and dry his falling tears. "I will always love you, you big baby!" she joked, "now lets find that shelter of yours and get some actually food!" she bounced up, beckoning to him to take the lead.

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Fatepaw's tears stopped when she pushed up against him. "Okay." He meowed with enthuisiasm. "Race Ya!" He yelled as he took the lead. He needed to stop thinking of her leaving and enjoy the time with her now. Fatepaw knew he was destined to be Falconpaw. She was perfect, She made him feel better. He had never felt this good, He wanted the feeling forever. He never wanted her to leave, But he knew what he had to do. Fatepaw looked back.... "Ha!" He thought. "Im winning!" He yelled.

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Falconpaw bbounded after Fatepaw, she was right on his tail, but he always seemed to be faster. Might as well enjoy what little time we have left. She was sad, and told herself that she would meet with him, no matter what. She knew that Bloodclan bordered Thunderclan, so meeting together would be easy, Extremly easy. If only he wouuld except the fact that they were destined for each other! She tripped over rotten twoleg mush and tumbled into him. Opps, she thought as she landed squarley on top of him.